13 Jul Midsummer Highs and Lows

“It’s failing!”

This is what I constantly had in the back of my head.

I was on the edge on insanity and destruction.

This was the first year that Claire and I really decided to take on the farm full steam ahead. We made plans this winter, signed up for a farmer’s market, bought seeds, ordered animals, built a hoop house. We were doing it.

We were so excited that this was going to be our breakthrough year. I ran all the numbers and budgets and we were going to do well.

Well, even with my best business-minded efforts, things started up and I soon felt like everything was quickly spinning out of control.

To get a better sense of what happened, we should start from the beginning:

Spring was horrible. We started plants in doors and then the rain started. It rained, and rained and rained some more.

I had full intentions of having the hoop house and outside gardens fully planted by May 1. Unfortunately, mother nature had other plans.  The plants we started indoors were getting too big for our space and started to die. So, we were way behind and didn’t have many strong transplants.

Next, the hatchery I got my first round of meat chickens from screwed up.

Normally baby chicks are sent through the mail overnight, arrive out our post office around 6am and I pick them up right away.  That morning, I called the post office that morning and nothing was there. The package hadn’t made it. Someone screwed up. On top of that, the chickens were packaged wrong. Normally chicks have to be packed with a minimum of 25 birds to keep warm for the trip. I ordered 115 and received 4 packages of 25 and one of 15. At this time of year, it was about 30 degrees outside.

The 15 were all dead among others. I lost 36 birds in 48 hours.

Devastating.

Because they did not make it on time and they were shipped through the cold, they never fully recovered. What should have been beautiful 4-5lb birds were processed at half that size. We process our meat at This Old Farm in Colfax.  They are so awesome, but they are extremely busy so I made my appointment for processing weeks in advance without the ability to move it back. It is what it is.

As we made plans to grow, I made plans to have a partner to help care for the animals. Claire and I started the farm with a neighbor and friend; but, we started to see inconsistent work.  We quickly had a conversation with him and he was overwhelmed by the commitment.  He has children, work and hobbies and had to walk away.

It was disappointing because we really wanted to work alongside him, but we could not sacrifice excellent care for the animals.  I’m not sure if anyone has had this happen, but when you take a two-man crew and reduce it by one it really screws things up. The time I thought I was going to have working on the garden was now spent taking care of animals. At one point, early this summer, we had 350 chickens to feed, water, bed, move, collect and wash eggs.

This is when the visions I had felt like they were all slipping away.

Instead of an orchestrated symphony for a farm, I felt like I was running around because everything was demanding attention.

The animals obviously came first, which meant the garden was put on hold. Claire was there to help but can only do so much when you have a 1-year old starting to walk. I would wake up every day at 6 am to try and get as much done before 8 as I could.  Then, I would come home from work and spend time with Claire and Theo until he went to bed. Then it was back outside.

Friday nights consisted of staying up until midnight getting ready for market followed by a 6 am wakeup call and a 6 hour day at the market. When I got home chores that are normally done before work had to get done.

The weeds got taller, the grass longer and seeds still sat in their bags.

Claire and I sat down two weeks ago and just looked at each other and asked, “What the hell are we doing?”

“What if we both had corporate jobs that got us home by 5 and we had weekends to travel or relax on the patio…?” “Remember when we had free time?”

Then we asked each other, “Do you think you would feel satisfied?”

The answer was a hesitant no.

See, we started this farm for one main reason, to grow food. Good food. Local food. That people enjoyed.  Food that could help teach people about seasonality, our food system, and local community.  Food that is healthy and people are excited to cook.  Food that helps make memories.

Despite the headaches, heartaches and backaches of this spring, it is happening.  I finally took down my blinders and saw it last week for myself.

Claire and Theo spent Saturday morning at the Carmel farmer’s market then headed to my sisters for our nephew’s first birthday party. I went to the market as I do every Saturday, but this time solo.

In 20 minutes I sold out of eggs. Customers who have been buying eggs from us all summer have started to show up earlier and earlier each Saturday to make sure they get there before we run out.

I sold out of chicken. I brought my usual chicken quantity and people who had bought one package the week before were buying 3 and 4 and we so excited to share how good it was.

I nearly sold out of salad mix and Romaine lettuce.

It was our best market yet. I came home reenergized… and, I am not going to lie, I was floating on Cloud 9 a little after a knock out market.  (Thank you!)

We sold so much chicken that I needed to order 115 more birds this week to fill orders for people wanting chicken. It seems like each day there is another person wanting 8-10 chickens or a few dozen eggs (We have 125 egg laying birds that better start laying in a hurry…!).

Our own personal garden doesn’t look as pretty as it used to.  I used to pride myself in the “perfect” lawn; but, now it looks pretty rough.  Our landscaping just looks like crap.  Our house may need to be cleaned, but we are not going to stop.  I am not defeated.  I am not failing.

And, I am sure as hell not going to reach for the easy button.

When we started this, I rested the farm operations on a set of values: I was going to do things the best way I knew how to improve the soil, the lives of the animals and the quality of the product. We definitely need to improve some systems, and I am working on it.  But, taking shortcuts and sacrificing the quality won’t get us there. It’s not fair to the animals, our customers or our land.

Or to us!  In our hearts, that is not how we want things done.

To be honest, I know how crazy my friends and family think we are. Claire and I both have great full-time careers, we have a one year old son and a baby girl on the way… and we decide to take on starting a farm? An organic farm with animals that need daily care?  I’m sure “What are they thinking?” has been passed around a few dinner tables.

Well, I’m here to tell you I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Plus, what do people do with all of their free time anyway?